50th Post!

Hi everyone,

It’s me again making a guest appearance on my own blog. Karen has been doing such a great job updating the blog. I find myself checking MY blog in the morning every day to see what she wrote!

The past week and a half has been really nice. So far, I’ve been responding really well to chemotherapy. My blood counts have been near normal. And I feel much more like a normal person. The pain and soreness from the chemo injections have faded. With my triple lumen catheter removed, I can take regular showers again. I’m still a human pin cushion though, having to get stuck with needles all the time. I still haven’t gotten used to that feeling of the needle puncturing skin. My gum sores have healed and my appetite has returned. I can actually taste my food now! As you can see, Karen has been cooking up some delicious meals for me. I’ve also been able to venture outside of the house more, but we’re still being very cautious and avoiding crowds in public places. Karen and I will take short walks in the park. It’s also been nice to see some friends.

The vast majority of my time is still spent at home. I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately. In the past two weeks, I’ve read a weird collection of books including The Time Traveler’s Wife, Marley and Me, Kitchen Confidential, and Lance Armstrong’s book. (Thanks to those who have recommended books to me.) Right now, I’m in the middle of a book called Running with Scissors, which is interesting. Of course, there are the radiology textbooks and journals that I can’t seem to get enough of… Karen and I have also watched some good movies including Match Point and Finding Neverland. And there is fantasy football and the Steelers. I’ve watched all the Steelers preseason games, and I’m excited that football season is about to start. The black and gold haven’t looked too sharp, but you can never tell in preseason.

I know that I’m not a particularly eloquent or interesting writer (as pointed out to me by a certain best friend of mine), but I wanted to share some thoughts now that I’m two months out from my diagnosis. Basically, having this disease sucks. Big time. But you make the best of the circumstances you’ve been handed. It is a surreal experience to be told you have cancer, and on top of it a rare and high-grade / high-risk one. Being a doctor who is relatively young, you always think you are immune (!) to this stuff. 32 year-olds who don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs aren’t supposed to get cancer. A million things start to swim in your head, the most notable being, “Oh my God! Am I going to die?!” Everybody has to die sometime, but getting a diagnosis like this really makes you face your own mortality. You start to simplify and prioritize your life. The most difficult thing is not knowing what’s around the corner. I feel fine now, but it is frightening not knowing if and when my blood counts are going to drop again. In the end, you trust God.

I have been very fortunate that my clinical course has been going as well as expected so far. My response to chemotherapy has been excellent and I am well on my way to finding a bone marrow donor match. Plus, my support structure is awesome. I have my own 24-hour caregiver in Karen (who is and always will be my rock), our families are nearby, and all you guys out there have spoiled me with support and prayers. It has been encouraging to see and talk to cancer survivors and those who are currently fighting their own battles as well. Many of those people have or are going through much more than me. We all seem to go through very similar experiences no matter what the diagnosis. I know that if they can get through it, I can too.

Thanks again to all of you who have supported us in so many different ways. We are forever indebted to you. And if you say a prayer (or something to that effect) for us, please remember to say one for all the other people you may know who are going through similar challenges.

God Bless,
Joe