VBS

Three years ago, I was accompanying a kid on a camp field trip. In my mind, I was thinking about the field trip. I was thinking about the goals and objectives I had for "my kid." I was thinking of what I would need to do when I got back home to prepare for Vacation Bible School that evening. It felt like a normal day.

Meanwhile, Joe was in the hospital casually going over the results of his blood test and doing a double take as he saw a series of numbers printed in red. When he learned that he would be getting bone marrow biopsy #1, he tried to contact me. It wasn't easy. He had to call a lot of people and even go against HIPPA to get a hold of me.

Bumping along in the school bus and going over some rules with my kid, I watched as one of the camp counselors made her way towards me and handed me a phone. I was told to call Joe as soon as possible. And with that, my life began to turn upside down.

***

In 2007, I wasn't able to participate in VBS because I was caring for Joe full-time.
In 2008, I was asked to help with one of the stations. I felt my body tense up when I was asked. But I smiled, and said that I would love to help. It was a different station than the one I had been volunteering for in the past, so I knew it would be a different experience. Besides, there was really no reason not to volunteer.

The thing is, just thinking about VBS made me emotional. It made me emotional because of this.

The other thing is, just looking at kids also made me emotional - although I'd like to think I was pretty good at hiding that fact. The truth is, for as long as I can remember, the one thing I absolutely knew that I wanted to do in life was to grow old and to have a family. When Joe died, it seemed my dreams of having a family died with him. For sure, he took our unborn children with him. We had named our kids, but vowed never to share those names until the day they were born. So while I smiled and agreed to help with VBS, I was secretly dreading it.

I eventually found a music therapy institute I really wanted to attend, and breathed a sigh of relief when I realized I wouldn't be able to help with VBS after all.

Well, that was then and this is now. Each year, I look back and marvel at how I've changed and grown as a person. I still have a lot of growing to do, but who doesn't?

Last week, my church had VBS 2009. For some reason, I got really excited about volunteering. It was so much fun. In fact, it was so much fun, it seems silly that I was secretly dreading it so much last year. But apparently I still had things that I needed to work through last year.

During each day of VBS, there is a Bible Point. When the kids hear the Bible Point, they respond with an action and a special phrase. This year, they had to punch their fist in the air and shout, "FEAR NOT!" The Bible Points this year were...
God is always with us... (FEAR NOT!)
God is powerful... (FEAR NOT!)
God does what He says He'll do... (FEAR NOT!)
God gives us life... (FEAR NOT!)
God cares for us... (FEAR NOT!)

It was the greatest thing in the world to see the faces of these kids as they shouted, "FEAR NOT!" It really is a great thing to remember...

***
One more VBS related story. When Joe was diagnosed, I immediately called our friend Vince. He graciously took over my station for the rest of the week. I had already learned all the skits for my station though. So I performed them all for Joe at home and in the hospital. I can still hear him laughing at me as I hammed it up for him. :)

Stanley Cup Champions!!!!

After yesterday's big win, I have to post something. We won both the Super Bowl and the Stanley Cup in one season. Pittsburgh is an incredible city. Joe loved Pittsburgh so much. I can just imagine how excited he would have been this year. He must be helping to pull strings up in heaven.

Kind of random - but this year, Albert turned 30. Joe would have turned 35 in a couple weeks. I will be turning 33 in a few months - the age that Joe was when he went up to heaven. It's a big year. So in some weird big stretch of a way, it seems that if something huge were to happen... this would be the year. YAY PITTSBURGH!!!!!

Now... if the Pirates can win more games than they lose, we can count that as a huge victory too. Let's go Bucs!!!!!!

This really touched my heart...