Longwood Gardens/No more Hell

Today's photos are from a trip Joe and I took to Longwood Gardens. It felt like my first visit there, but apparently my family visited several times when I was a wee little girl.

I loved it when Joe winked at me. I just thought it was the cutest thing. And he never just winked. He would do it in slow motion which always made me smile. Joe had the best facial expressions. People would tell him he was like a cartoon. Funny, because people said that about me too. To think "Joe & Karen" could have been a cartoon on Nickelodeon!

So, a year ago today Joe was admitted to the hospital. He only had one week at home after that admission. On our 2007 calendar where Joe marked important dates and appointments, there is a long arrow that starts at May 21 and goes through all of June. In the middle of that arrow, he wrote, "HELL." That pretty much sums it up.

I'm glad that Joe isn't in hell anymore. I'm glad that he is free from bone marrow biopsies, oxygen tanks, and IVs. I'm glad that he isn't suffering. But oh, I still miss him.

I miss him every single day. When we were living in different cities, Joe sent me a card that said, "My hug has a hole in it." That's how I feel. When I'm happy and excited, I miss sharing that with him. When I'm sad and confused, I miss being able to cry on his shoulder. When I'm angry and frustrated, I miss being able to vent to him. I miss holding his hand. I miss waking up next to him. I miss making him laugh.

I could roll out of bed with matted hair, my glasses, wrinkled clothes, drool on my cheek and a new pimple - and Joe would tell me how adorable I was. And I would believe him...well, until I looked into the mirror. :)

Once, I did a poor job backing out of the garage and put a little dent in Joe's car. Joe LOVED his car. He named his car "Sexy Lexi." He would often pause, look at his car, and say, "Isn't she sexy?" Joe was finishing up being on call at the hospital when the incident happened. Needless to say, I was terrified to face him. I was shaking when I called to confess. Joe never really lost his temper with me...but then, I had never dented his car before. Amazingly enough, he wasn't mad at all. Joe said, "well, did you do it on purpose?" (Of course I hadn't.) "Then I'm not mad." That was that. That was love.

I'm actually doing quite well. A lot of exciting things are happening, which I'll share eventually. But with each exciting thing is that bittersweetness that comes with knowing that Joe isn't physically here to share it with me.

Valley Forge

Joe had this old laptop computer that stopped working years ago. That old laptop held many photos from our early years. We had printed out a few of them, but most of them were forgotten. Recently, those photos were recovered. What a gift to be able to see those pictures again. It brought back a lot of fun memories.

Today I'm sharing some photos from a trip to Valley Forge. Joe was really great about planning things to do in and around Philadelphia. It was a wonderful way for us to get to know each other.

This was one of those photos that seemed like a good idea at the time. :)

Awwww. We were so young.

Isn't he so cute?

Gotta love the trademark smile.

Cowboy Joe

I mentioned before how Joe wanted to be a black man when he grew up - and how he came close by becoming the voice and mind of P. Diddy. :) Then I briefly mentioned that Joe had secret aspirations to be a cowboy. I did not mention just how far these aspirations carried him. Did you know that Joe was also the voice, inspiration, and talent behind Garth Brooks? Seriously. Joe told me himself. :P

One of the things Joe wanted to do after he finished his residency was to get a Toyota Tacoma. He believed that every person should own a pickup truck at some point in their life. I loved that he was just Joe. He never tried to conform to a certain image.

Joe liked to say that he was easy to get along with because he adapted so well to different situations. It's true. One day, you might see him rubbing elbows with hoity-toity people at a five-star restaurant and wearing an Armani suit. Then the next day you would see him riding in the back of a beat-up car laughing with friends who have never heard of Armani.

Now I'll tell you a secret. Joe claimed that he could even change the way he spoke around different people. I would always laugh at him though, because his "black" speak and his "cowboy" speak sounded exactly the same.

How could you not love Joe?

Free!

I know that everyone loves things that are free. It's that time of year again for the "Thanks Mom awareness and recruitment campaign." If you have not yet registered to be a bone marrow donor, because you've been waiting for the perfect opportunity - now is your chance. The cost of 46,000 kits will be covered (10,000 online & 36,000 in person).

Life. It's in you.

During our Thanks Mom awareness and recruitment campaign, May 5 to May 19, 2008, join the marrow donor Registry and give hope to patients. What better way to say “Thanks, Mom” for giving you life than to share that gift with another person.

When you become a marrow donor, you join the global movement of more than 11 million donors who stand ready to give someone a future.

You could be the one a patient needs.

So, go ahead. Click on the links above and learn more. Spread the word. Join Now. Keep praying for Erica. Do all of this in memory of Joe, Alivia, Amy, & Dale.

In case you need more inspiration, here are some videos with success story Christine Pechera.

• ABC News Story by Denise Dador
• CW – KTLA Ch 5 News Segment
• FOX - KCOP Channel 13 News Segment