Hawaii

I have photos to share from my trip to Hawaii.

Click me!

There are a lot of photos. So take your time. :)
Hang loose & Aloha!

Memories of Joe Lin by Jimmy Yang

Whenever you get a chance, scroll back down to Memories by Mike Chang. I found a great photo!

And here, we have Joe and Jimmy.

Joe and Jimmy (and Albert!) may as well have been brothers. The Lins and the Yangs were closer than family. So close, that if you were to look up the definition of "Lin family vacation," you would find, "A trip to visit the Yangs."

Joe’s family and mine have always been close. It started when our parents met in Taiwan, and then continued when our families came over here to the States. The Lins eventually settled down in Pittsburgh, while my family settled down in New Jersey. Yet despite the distance, our families always made sure to visit each other quite frequently.

Due to the closeness of our families, I’ve pretty much known Joe since childhood, even before the two of us could even form real memories. It’s always funny to see pictures of us as little toddlers, with our rice bowl haircuts, and trying so hard to remember what it was like then. Instead, we have the stories that our parents provide, such as the time Joe and I got separated from our parents and ended up lost in a Six Flags amusement park. I still laugh when our parents describe how they eventually found us wandering aimlessly, holding hands while bawling our eyes out together.

As we grow up, we begin to form real memories, and I cherish the fact that Joe has always been there since the beginning of my own memories. I mean, how often can you say that you’ve had a friend for pretty much your entire life? In that way, I am so thankful that our families have always made that dedicated effort to see each other so often, whether it was my family going to Pittsburgh, or the Lins coming to New Jersey, or even jointly heading to the North Carolina outerbanks for a summer getaway. With so many chances to see each other, it’s not surprising that, as an only child, I eventually ended up looking to Joe as that older brother I never had.
Having said this, it’s also not surprising that I ended up growing up with my own version of sibling rivalry. I can’t count the number of times I heard from my parents the latest and greatest about Joe. Let me tell you, if anything, Joe had always been the golden child - the perfect Taiwanese American boy. He always got the good grades, he played both violin AND piano, he spoke Taiwanese flawlessly, he was neat and organized, and of course adults loved him for his perfect manners. Of course, it didn’t help my case later when Joe got into Stanford and eventually medical school. And then of course, just to show off, the perfect Taiwanese American boy found an amazing Taiwanese American girl to marry. You would think I’d get frustrated trying to measure up to the “Crown Prince of Taiwan” (to borrow a phrase from Joe and Karen), but it was impossible to do so. You couldn’t help but respect Joe immensely, not just for his accomplishments, but for the way he stayed humble through each of his successes.

It all seemed to come easy to Joe back then, but as great as he was growing up, I think it’s pretty clear that Joe proved to be even greater as a man. Joe may have impressed me with his personal successes, but he truly inspired me with the way he faced adversity. Throughout his battle with his health, Joe demonstrated to me what it was to remain strong even when you felt most vulnerable, to be brave when surrounded by fear, to keep laughter in your heart when you felt like crying. Joe showed me how to keep hope in your heart despite discouraging odds, to be thoughtful and generous when everyone’s focus was on him.

A perfect example of this happened this past year, as I’ve been going through my own personal issues recently. Strangely at the times when I was most discouraged, I’d get a surprise phone call from Joe, almost like he knew that I was feeling down. Of course, a few minutes of talking to Joe and hearing him stay upbeat during a battle I couldn’t even fathom going through myself would put the world back into perspective. What right did I have to complain to him about anything when Joe was fighting a battle for his life? Yet, Joe was always so generous of heart and soul that he had more than enough strength to lend it to others like me. Every phone call I had with Joe left me inspired and refilled with hope. In one of our last conversations, I will always remember him reaffirming to me what I’ve always felt about him. He told me, “You know, Jimmy, I’ve always viewed you like another brother to me. You know you can always talk to me about anything, anytime.”

And so now, even though he’s gone to a better place, I still get to talk to Joe about anything, anytime. I get to talk to Joe every time I talk to Karen. I talk to Joe when I talk to the Albert. I talk to Joe when I talk to his parents. I talk to Joe when I talk to my parents. I talk to Joe when I talk to his friends. I still get to talk to Joe, because Joe has left a piece of himself in the hearts of everyone he’s touched. If anything, all I have to do is look inside my heart, and Joe is there. Joe will always be there with me, with us.

Be in peace, my dear friend and brother. We love you.

I Will Lift My Eyes

Name: I Will Lift My Eyes
Artist: Bebo Norman
Album: Between the Dreaming & Coming True

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

Chorus:I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me

Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

(Chorus)

‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now (Chorus)

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now

Kids will be kids.

Back home

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I am back. My tropical paradise for a week was a Hawaiian cruise. It was wonderful. I hung out with my parents, I made fabulous new friends, and I even hugged a palm tree. We were a group of fifty-one celebrating my dad’s 40th reunion from Kaohsiung Medical College. Each time the purple banner came out people would stop and stare at our group as though we were a local attraction. It was pretty funny.

Hawaii was incredibly beautiful and pleasantly distracting. It was nice to get lost in a seemingly alternate reality for a week. I must admit I was a bit nervous about going. Hawaii has this romantic vibe that draws in plane-loads of honeymooners and canoodling couples. I wasn’t sure if my heart would be able to handle it. Turns out, whether they realize it or not, my parents and the rest of the fifty reunion folks that I hung out with during the week were amazing. Some of them knew the whole story about Joe and me; some of them did not know much at all. But somehow the time with all of them – even during the boring bus tour moments when everyone was nodding off – felt like one big hug. I felt supported but not smothered. Even my ultimate silliness was accepted.

I made some wonderful new friends. The trip wouldn’t have been the same without some other “kids.” Diana and I were buddies for the week. We definitely had some crazy times. Jim and Brian completed the other half of our “kids corner.” Many nights at dinner, the waiters would set up a gigantic long table for our group. The kids always occupied the same corner. We shared a lot of laughs…and a lot of desserts. Shawn and Lu-yi were the other two kids. They had a lot to celebrate - two birthdays, a wedding anniversary, and a baby on the way – so we didn’t get to see them every night. They were really entertaining when they were around.

Initially, I felt uncomfortable even mentioning Joe. I barely knew some of these people, and I didn’t want to be that lady who shares her whole life story with every person who glances in her direction. As the week progressed, I knew it was okay to share when I needed to. Joe was in my heart. We experienced Hawaii together. Being in Hawaii and being surrounded by such intense beauty, I knew that God was all around me. It made it easy to have fun and celebrate life.

The healing process continues, especially now that I’m back home. But a friend commented to me “He gives us the choice - to be held and stand tall, or to wilt and succumb.” I plan to continually choose the former.

A special thank you to my parents for taking me to Hawaii with them. They were really great. Emotionally, I’m still all over the place. But since my parents are my parents, they are usually the only ones to witness the ultimate grouchy side of my healing process. Now that I’ve officially mentioned it, they will proceed to tease me about it forever. But truly, I’m grateful to them. Because to be able to endure my ugly side is true love.

Not Fiji...

...but pretty close. My parents are "dragging" me away to a tropical paradise. The real reason that they are going is for my dad's 40th med. school reunion. At one point, they almost decided not to go. They wanted to be around for Joe. But Joe kept saying that they had to go. He wanted my parents to come back with lots of photos and stories. And then came the moment when God needed another angel up in heaven, and it had to be Joe. Things are pretty darn dandy for Joe right now. Life is a little bit more difficult for the rest of us. So my parents decided that my dad's reunion was the perfect excuse to take me away for some rest and relaxation. I wish that I was going to Fiji with Joe. I've mentioned before that I wish a lot of things. This trip will be good though. I aim to celebrate Joe's life and enjoy myself. I know that is exactly what he would want. It is kind of funny though. For a week, I'm going to go back to the days of being a nine year old only child. It'll be mommy, daddy, and me! (sorry victor!)

I will be back...with lots of photos and stories and things to share.

A letter from Vince Lee

Our parents set us up. I wasn't very happy. So, I developed a ploy to get rid of Joe. I started to bring him to church. All the time. For hours. (My plan obviously didn't work. *whew*) Along the way, Joe not only developed a relationship with God. He met Vince. My fellowship in Philly was so large at the time, I barely knew Vince. But Joe and Vince seemed to click almost instantly. Vince ended up moving off to Pittsburgh. We soon followed, and re-connected at PCC.
Vince wrote a letter to Joe for the service. It speaks for itself.


Joe,

I know I speak for the heart of everyone here

who has had the blessing of your friendship

who has ever worked with you as a professional colleague

who has joined with you in prayer

who has been at one of your Steelers parties

who has been the recipient of your handshake and warm smile

who has shared a meal and memories with you

who has tried one of your award-winning grilled portabello mushrooms

who has read of your journey online and has prayed for you in their hearts

who has loved you as a friend, a son, a husband, or a brother

that we all testify together what a privilege and honor it has been to share in your life. A privilege, because of how short and precious your time was. An honor, because of the person you were.

People who would meet you for the first time found you immediately likeable, no matter if they were outgoing and gregarious, or extremely shy and introverted, as I was when I met you for the first time in Philadelphia seven years ago. And all the same, you would extend your outstretched hand and warm smile to everyone. We don't know of anyone like you who is so genuine, positive, easy-going, thoughtful, and sincere, all at the same time. The surest way out there to make money is to bet against you not smiling for ten whole seconds. It simply can't be done. We will miss your sense of humor. You could be in any situation and make it funny. You wouldn't be the one wearing the lampshade over your head, but you'd be the one with the perfect comment for the situation that would have everyone laughing with no one's feelings hurt. Our fellowship and our church has been so blessed by your generosity and hospitality, and your expertise with the grill. You had it down to a science. The way you and Karen complimented each other as a couple was beautiful and inspiring. It was a romantic moment for all of us just even seeing you both walk together through the door. You were for each other, inspiration and passion.

Your humility and sincerity flowed out from your noble heart. During your hard fought battle these past 15 months, you were even at times apologetic for inconveniencing us with your leukemia. That kind of humility brings tears to our eyes. But even though your life was turned upside down on June 23rd of last year, the leukemia didn't take you away. Instead, your sincerity, your character, and your love for your family and friends shined even brighter.

Thank you for being so transparent with us. It didn’t come naturally, but you did it out of your love for us. Thank you Karen. Through your blog you shared your hearts with us, even through the most crushing moments. We all felt so helpless, and yet so amazed by the strength that was sustaining you both. Such giving and such faithfulness was Christ’s love in its fullest. Thank you.

God called you, Joe, to a rugged path so few of us have or will ever walk. He asked you to carry a cross He has only asked you to carry, because He knew that you would persevere on His wings. In return, you were given a knowledge of Him many of us will never know. And now, you truly are made perfect. Before, there were so many questions; many dark nights where you were looking through a mirror dimly. But now, as the Apostle Paul wrote, you are with Him, face to face. Before, you knew in part, but now you know fully, just as you are fully known. Known to Him who changes the seasons, calls each star by name, and holds all life in the palm of His hands.

I know you're in a better place now, but if there were a time machine, we would bring you to this moment right now, in order to show you just how much love you've inspired, and how great a legacy of love you've left in our hearts. And you would probably apologize for being an inconvenience. And we would be so inconvenient back to you because we'd hug you, quite firmly, and never let you go. So for now, we'll cherish your memories. We know you're watching. Someday soon, you'll be holding Karen's hand again, walking side by side, on streets paved with gold. We love you Joe. See you soon.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. - 1 Cor 12:12

Light the Night

This past Thursday, October 4 was the 9th annual Heinz Field Light the Night walk. It is a way to raise money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It is a symbol of taking steps to find a cure. It is a way to celebrate and support the lives of those who have survived a blood cancer, those who are living with a blood cancer, and those who have passed away from a blood cancer.

Many people know by now that I met some amazing girls online while planning Joe and my wedding. Some I met in person. Many I never met in person. All were so supportive while Joe was sick, and we would find ourselves suddenly bombarded with cards and love throughout his journey. Shortly after Joe passed away, the girls decided they wanted to form a team to participate in Light the Night in memory of Joe. I was invited to walk with them, and my Monroeville parents and 1st uncle were able to join in the fun as well. It was a really amazing and overwhelming night. The walk was very peaceful. It was so touching to see all the people on our team wearing tags that said, "Joe Lin." Most of them had never even met Joe before. It was overwhelming to see how many people were affected by blood cancer, and to just feel the emotions that filled the air that night. I'm so grateful to the girls (and their families) that participated (I swiped the group photo from one of them!).

My cousin Lillian was in town this weekend. We had a wonderful weekend of cousin bonding. We also got very little sleep. The two of us could get jobs as professional sleepers, so the fact that we were willing to sacrifice sleep to spend time together is a big deal! I miss her already.

Today marks one month since Joe passed away. This month has felt like a hundred years. I know Joe wants me to celebrate his life by living my life. This makes it a little bit easier to go through each day with a smile on my face and a smile on my heart. (And you know Joe is still pulling strings up there. Joe always knew the importance of remaining humble, which explains the Steelers last week. This week Joe let our boys show off a bit.) I know I don't have to smile all of the time (and I don't), but the times when there is a smile on my face are the times I know for sure that Joe is guarding my heart. He's my guardian angel.