Memories of Joe Lin by Jimmy Yang

Whenever you get a chance, scroll back down to Memories by Mike Chang. I found a great photo!

And here, we have Joe and Jimmy.

Joe and Jimmy (and Albert!) may as well have been brothers. The Lins and the Yangs were closer than family. So close, that if you were to look up the definition of "Lin family vacation," you would find, "A trip to visit the Yangs."

Joe’s family and mine have always been close. It started when our parents met in Taiwan, and then continued when our families came over here to the States. The Lins eventually settled down in Pittsburgh, while my family settled down in New Jersey. Yet despite the distance, our families always made sure to visit each other quite frequently.

Due to the closeness of our families, I’ve pretty much known Joe since childhood, even before the two of us could even form real memories. It’s always funny to see pictures of us as little toddlers, with our rice bowl haircuts, and trying so hard to remember what it was like then. Instead, we have the stories that our parents provide, such as the time Joe and I got separated from our parents and ended up lost in a Six Flags amusement park. I still laugh when our parents describe how they eventually found us wandering aimlessly, holding hands while bawling our eyes out together.

As we grow up, we begin to form real memories, and I cherish the fact that Joe has always been there since the beginning of my own memories. I mean, how often can you say that you’ve had a friend for pretty much your entire life? In that way, I am so thankful that our families have always made that dedicated effort to see each other so often, whether it was my family going to Pittsburgh, or the Lins coming to New Jersey, or even jointly heading to the North Carolina outerbanks for a summer getaway. With so many chances to see each other, it’s not surprising that, as an only child, I eventually ended up looking to Joe as that older brother I never had.
Having said this, it’s also not surprising that I ended up growing up with my own version of sibling rivalry. I can’t count the number of times I heard from my parents the latest and greatest about Joe. Let me tell you, if anything, Joe had always been the golden child - the perfect Taiwanese American boy. He always got the good grades, he played both violin AND piano, he spoke Taiwanese flawlessly, he was neat and organized, and of course adults loved him for his perfect manners. Of course, it didn’t help my case later when Joe got into Stanford and eventually medical school. And then of course, just to show off, the perfect Taiwanese American boy found an amazing Taiwanese American girl to marry. You would think I’d get frustrated trying to measure up to the “Crown Prince of Taiwan” (to borrow a phrase from Joe and Karen), but it was impossible to do so. You couldn’t help but respect Joe immensely, not just for his accomplishments, but for the way he stayed humble through each of his successes.

It all seemed to come easy to Joe back then, but as great as he was growing up, I think it’s pretty clear that Joe proved to be even greater as a man. Joe may have impressed me with his personal successes, but he truly inspired me with the way he faced adversity. Throughout his battle with his health, Joe demonstrated to me what it was to remain strong even when you felt most vulnerable, to be brave when surrounded by fear, to keep laughter in your heart when you felt like crying. Joe showed me how to keep hope in your heart despite discouraging odds, to be thoughtful and generous when everyone’s focus was on him.

A perfect example of this happened this past year, as I’ve been going through my own personal issues recently. Strangely at the times when I was most discouraged, I’d get a surprise phone call from Joe, almost like he knew that I was feeling down. Of course, a few minutes of talking to Joe and hearing him stay upbeat during a battle I couldn’t even fathom going through myself would put the world back into perspective. What right did I have to complain to him about anything when Joe was fighting a battle for his life? Yet, Joe was always so generous of heart and soul that he had more than enough strength to lend it to others like me. Every phone call I had with Joe left me inspired and refilled with hope. In one of our last conversations, I will always remember him reaffirming to me what I’ve always felt about him. He told me, “You know, Jimmy, I’ve always viewed you like another brother to me. You know you can always talk to me about anything, anytime.”

And so now, even though he’s gone to a better place, I still get to talk to Joe about anything, anytime. I get to talk to Joe every time I talk to Karen. I talk to Joe when I talk to the Albert. I talk to Joe when I talk to his parents. I talk to Joe when I talk to my parents. I talk to Joe when I talk to his friends. I still get to talk to Joe, because Joe has left a piece of himself in the hearts of everyone he’s touched. If anything, all I have to do is look inside my heart, and Joe is there. Joe will always be there with me, with us.

Be in peace, my dear friend and brother. We love you.

A letter from Vince Lee

Our parents set us up. I wasn't very happy. So, I developed a ploy to get rid of Joe. I started to bring him to church. All the time. For hours. (My plan obviously didn't work. *whew*) Along the way, Joe not only developed a relationship with God. He met Vince. My fellowship in Philly was so large at the time, I barely knew Vince. But Joe and Vince seemed to click almost instantly. Vince ended up moving off to Pittsburgh. We soon followed, and re-connected at PCC.
Vince wrote a letter to Joe for the service. It speaks for itself.


Joe,

I know I speak for the heart of everyone here

who has had the blessing of your friendship

who has ever worked with you as a professional colleague

who has joined with you in prayer

who has been at one of your Steelers parties

who has been the recipient of your handshake and warm smile

who has shared a meal and memories with you

who has tried one of your award-winning grilled portabello mushrooms

who has read of your journey online and has prayed for you in their hearts

who has loved you as a friend, a son, a husband, or a brother

that we all testify together what a privilege and honor it has been to share in your life. A privilege, because of how short and precious your time was. An honor, because of the person you were.

People who would meet you for the first time found you immediately likeable, no matter if they were outgoing and gregarious, or extremely shy and introverted, as I was when I met you for the first time in Philadelphia seven years ago. And all the same, you would extend your outstretched hand and warm smile to everyone. We don't know of anyone like you who is so genuine, positive, easy-going, thoughtful, and sincere, all at the same time. The surest way out there to make money is to bet against you not smiling for ten whole seconds. It simply can't be done. We will miss your sense of humor. You could be in any situation and make it funny. You wouldn't be the one wearing the lampshade over your head, but you'd be the one with the perfect comment for the situation that would have everyone laughing with no one's feelings hurt. Our fellowship and our church has been so blessed by your generosity and hospitality, and your expertise with the grill. You had it down to a science. The way you and Karen complimented each other as a couple was beautiful and inspiring. It was a romantic moment for all of us just even seeing you both walk together through the door. You were for each other, inspiration and passion.

Your humility and sincerity flowed out from your noble heart. During your hard fought battle these past 15 months, you were even at times apologetic for inconveniencing us with your leukemia. That kind of humility brings tears to our eyes. But even though your life was turned upside down on June 23rd of last year, the leukemia didn't take you away. Instead, your sincerity, your character, and your love for your family and friends shined even brighter.

Thank you for being so transparent with us. It didn’t come naturally, but you did it out of your love for us. Thank you Karen. Through your blog you shared your hearts with us, even through the most crushing moments. We all felt so helpless, and yet so amazed by the strength that was sustaining you both. Such giving and such faithfulness was Christ’s love in its fullest. Thank you.

God called you, Joe, to a rugged path so few of us have or will ever walk. He asked you to carry a cross He has only asked you to carry, because He knew that you would persevere on His wings. In return, you were given a knowledge of Him many of us will never know. And now, you truly are made perfect. Before, there were so many questions; many dark nights where you were looking through a mirror dimly. But now, as the Apostle Paul wrote, you are with Him, face to face. Before, you knew in part, but now you know fully, just as you are fully known. Known to Him who changes the seasons, calls each star by name, and holds all life in the palm of His hands.

I know you're in a better place now, but if there were a time machine, we would bring you to this moment right now, in order to show you just how much love you've inspired, and how great a legacy of love you've left in our hearts. And you would probably apologize for being an inconvenience. And we would be so inconvenient back to you because we'd hug you, quite firmly, and never let you go. So for now, we'll cherish your memories. We know you're watching. Someday soon, you'll be holding Karen's hand again, walking side by side, on streets paved with gold. We love you Joe. See you soon.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. - 1 Cor 12:12

Memories by Mike Chang

Because I know that many were not able to attend the service, and because many have expressed an interest in reading what was shared again, and simply because I want to - I am posting the eulogies from Joe's service here on my blog. I will also be sharing memories from others who have offered to share. (If you'd like to contribute, just email me - there is a link in the profile).

Michael Chang and Joe have been best friends since 5th grade (He's number 32). He was one of the speakers at Joe's service. Amongst Joe's childhood friends, Mike would be classified as one of the "good" ones. That is, he was either better behaved than the others, or better at pretending to be better behaved. Whenever Joe would get on the phone with Mike, I knew I would have several hours to myself. That is how close they were.

I've known Joe almost my entire life, and I just wanted to share a few of my memories of Joe and why he was so special to me. We met when we were in elementary school over 20 years ago, and throughout all of these years I have never known a more compassionate, generous and loving person. We've been through so much together since we were kids, and Joe has definitely been one of the greatest friends I could've ever asked for. I've always considered Joe to be like a brother to me, as he has been as close to me as my own family.

I've been taking a lot of time this week reflecting on the years I've known Joe and the time we've spent together. A lot of my memories are of Joe and I just talking for hours and hours on the phone during high school, and chatting and goofing off during class. I'm not even sure what we talked about most of the time, but I think we shared that special bond where we could just enjoy each other's company and talk about almost anything. And later in life when we didn't see each other as often and wouldn't talk for months, we could still pick up the phone and chat as if no time had passed at all.

I also remember other random things such as partnering up for school assignments, science fair projects and the science Olympiad. I always thought we made a great team, even though we did get slaughtered a few of those times. I remember one event we did called “write it-do-it” where basically Joe would have to look at a structure built of Legos and tinker toys, write instructions for me to follow, and then I'd have to come in and rebuild the structure from scratch without having seen it, based only on his instructions. It sounded simple enough and we thought we'd do great since we knew each other so well, but let me tell you, when I finished I ended up with some sorry looking thing that I knew wasn't even close to what it should've looked like. It was just a total disaster. I walked out of the room totally embarrassed, took one look at Joe, and the two of us just started laughing and laughing. It always seemed like we had the most fun those times when we screwed up the worst.

My other memories of Joe are of all those times we spent hanging out at his house. Pretty much whenever we had nothing to do, we'd just go ahead and invite ourselves over to Joe's house or show up randomly unannounced to play some video games or ping-pong or something. And we could convert that basement of his into just about anything. We'd play baseball with this little souvenir bat of his, or we'd play some nerf football. We even tried to play hockey down there for a while, although that one didn't work too well. And whenever we'd show up, Joe would always be a good sport about it too and at least pretend to be happy to see us . . . well, most of the time.

I'll also miss the great road trips and golf vacations we'd take every few years. Really when I think about it, almost all of my happy memories growing up and over the recent years have involved Joe. He has been such a large part of my life and he has touched my life so deeply. I will miss him tremendously but he will always continue to live on in my heart and in my memories.

Now I just want to say a few brief words to Joe's family.

To Joe's wife Karen – even though I have a ton of great memories with Joe, I have to say that I've never seen him as happy as he's been with you over the last few years – and I truly mean that. You two complemented each other perfectly and with you by his side, I think he was able to find an inner peace and happiness that may have been missing before he met you. It was really quite remarkable to see, but at the same time, I think it was also very obvious to those around you two. You truly were a special blessing in his life.

I want to say to Joe's mom and dad that you should be extremely proud to have raised such a genuine and caring son. Joe was such an amazing person, and a true testament to the both of you.

And to Joe's little brother Albert, I want to say that from talking to Joe I know that he was really proud of you in a big brother kind of way. Whenever we'd talk about you, you could just hear it in his voice. He loved you very much.

And I want to finish with a simple message to Joe – who I'm sure is listening to all of us right now. Thanks for all the memories, and for being such a great friend. I'll miss you.