Happy Easter!!!

It's that time of year again. EASTER!!!!!
I actually don't have anything significant to report. So, I'm cheating and re-sharing past Easter posts. :)

Resurrection Cookies

Ev'ry morning is Easter morning from now on! Ev'ry day's resurrection day, the past is over and gone!

1.Good-bye guilt, good-bye fear, good riddance! Hello, Lord, Hello, sun! I am one of the Easter People! My new life has begun!

Ev'ry morning is Easter morning from now on! Ev'ry day's resurrection day, the past is over and gone!

2.Daily news is so bad it seems the Good News seldom gets heard. Get it straight from the Easter People! God's in charge spread the word!

Ev'ry morning is Easter morning from now on! Ev'ry day's resurrection day, the past is over and gone!

3.Yesterday I was bored and lonely; But today look and see! I belong to the Easter People! Life's exciting to me!

Ev'ry morning is Easter morning from now on! Ev'ry day's resurrection day, the past is over and gone! Ev'ry morning is Easter morning, Ev'ry morning is Easter morning, Ev'ry morning is Easter morning, From now on!

Words & Tune: Richard K. Avery and Donald S. Marsh, in the Avery and Marsh
Songbook, ©1967, Hope Publishing Co.

4 years

Wedding Dress Day 2008

Joe

Hawaii

Boston

Seattle

Pittsburgh

New York

Baptism Day

I have a housemate now. Before she moved here in January, I had a mini meltdown. Although I had moved a lot of things, given away a lot of things, and entertained guests on several weekends - there were still many areas of the house that were just as Joe had left them. Just thinking about clearing his closets and drawers made me cry. Yet deep down inside, I knew that having a housemate would probably be a lovely thing.

It has definitely been a lovely thing. She is young (younger than my brother!), sweet, and fun. She makes me feel young - until she mentions something only 20 year olds know about, and I give her a blank stare. She is also studying mortuary sciences and has been to too many funerals for too many loved ones. So the situation is really quite perfect. We're both crazy fun-loving people with an odd sense of humor. But when we have certain moments (okay, mostly when I have certain moments) we understand each other. I like to pretend that I'm helping her in her training. :)

Life has actually been quite wonderful for me. I've been excited about the future, excited about life, and feeling overwhelmingly blessed in so many ways. Life has been good. So good.

Yet for the second year in a row, I thought that Joe's baptism day and our wedding anniversary would just pass quietly. Last year, when it was harder than I had expected, it made sense to me. Everything was hard last year. This year has been different. Despite hearing from other widow(er)s that the second year is often even harder because people expect that you've moved on and they aren't as obviously supportive - my second year has been significantly better. I made it through every milestone grinning from ear to ear and knowing that I have my own personal angel watching over me. Then this week, the grief monster caught me by surprise and swallowed me whole. It is the most peculiar thing to be completely happy about everything in your life, yet still feel so sad about missing someone. It's emotionally draining. How is it possible to feel content and sadness at the same time? This year is still far better than last year. The ache is still very real, but I no longer feel as though there is a hole in my heart. Life is good. So good.


My new housemate and I try to have movie night every Thursday. We bond over cookies, milk, and a DVD. Last night we watched, "P.S. I Love You." I had never watched it before, although I knew what it was about - or maybe because I knew what it was about. But I knew that I wanted to watch it at some point. My roommate wasn't going to subject me to it last night because she knew I was emotional this week. I insisted that we watch it. I knew a good cry would be cathartic. The movie is about a young widow (Hilary Swank). Her husband dies from a brain tumor. In the course of the next year she is surprised with letters that her husband had written to her to guide her through her grief. It was a beautiful movie full of hope. The last letter is the real tear-jerker. When it was being read, I totally heard Joe's voice. Joe had shared very similar words with me before he died. I couldn't comprehend it at the time, but it became one of his greatest gifts to me.

If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.

How blessed I was to have Joe in my life. The movie did indeed provide me with a good cry. Afterwards, I "forced" my housemate to watch some of my wedding clips. Interestingly enough, those made me laugh and smile. Joe was a gift. An angel sent to earth by God to arm me with some lessons for life. Life is good. So good.

#1 Steeler Fan

A dear and talented friend Eddie, did an "homage drawing to the #1 Steeler Fan." The detail, the thought, the signature smile... It really is an amazing tribute. Thank you, Eddie for being such a great friend to Joe (and me) and for using your talent so beautifully.

Team Up! to fight leukemia and lymphoma!

I have a really awesome family and really awesome relatives. Among this group of awesomeness is my Cousin Lilly. I have looked up to her my whole life. She is fun, talented, adventurous, and she treats me really well for no reason at all. (Whereas, I try to treat her well because she has a huge collection of embarrassing stories about me.) Today, I got this lovely letter from her. I totally didn't get her permission... but I'm sharing her letter because as usual, she is doing something wonderful. So many of you (including Cousin Lilly) have already gone far beyond what I could have imagined to show your support these past few years - through time, prayer, energy, donations, hugs, happy thoughts, sharing, food, encouragement, messages, etc. etc. etc. So this isn't so much a plea for donations as it is a huge shout-out to my wonderful Cousin Lilly, her super cool friend Lauren, and the rest of their team. Note that they are going UP 69 FLIGHTS of stairs... not 69 steps (although for some of us, that would still be a notable event!). I love you, Cousin Lilly!!!!

Hi friends and family,

Around this time of year, most of you are used to getting a letter like this from me asking for your help to fight HIV and AIDS. While I still am participating in the AIDS LifeCycle this year, I will not be riding, and instead will be serving as Medical Director again. (That means you won't get that letter!)

So, this year I finally get the chance to raise money for another cause near and dear to my heart--leukemia and lymphoma. 1 1/2 years ago, Joe Lin, a family friend of mine since childhood, and husband of my dear cousin Karen, lost his courageous battle against leukemia at the tender age of 33. When I served as a bridesmaid in Joe and Karen's wedding in April 2005, I had no idea that only 14 months later he would be diagnosed, and begin a grueling journey to include 11 bone marrow biospies, transfusions too numerous to count, chemotherapies, and a stem cell transplant. In the end, the leukemia proved to be too strong, and Joe passed away in September 2007, touching the lives of so many along the way.
joekaren.blogspot.com

Next Sunday March 22, I'll be doing the Big Climb, a climb up the Columbia Tower (the tallest building in Seattle), in memory of Joe, using his inspiration as motivation to climb those 69 flights of stairs. I'll be climbing with my friend Lauren (and hopefully some of you others!) as the team "Team Up!" I realize that we are all feeling the pressure of these tough economic times right now. The last thing I want to do is to make things more difficult for anyone--that is, I don't want anyone to donate money they don't have for this cause! However, if you are lucky enough to be in a position to help in this fight, I'd greatly appreciate ANY amount you feel comfortable donating, by Sunday March 22.

To donate to our team:
http://www.llswa.org/site/TR/Events/BigClimb?team_id=13040&pg=team&fr_id=1040

To donate to my personal page:
http://www.llswa.org/site/TR/Events/BigClimb/309549176?px=1133761&pg=personal&fr_id=1040

Also, if you'd like to join us, we'd love to have you on our team, "Team Up!" For more information about the event, go to www.bigclimb.org. And note, registration is almost full and expected to sell out, with the deadline of 3/16.

Thank you for reading, and as always, for your friendship and support!!

Lillian

Beautiful Beams

My friend Cathy shared this link with me. She actually walks by the bridge and site every day. The ritual and the photos were too beautiful not to share.

Naming the Beams for Dana Farber patients.

6 Time Super Bowl Champs!!!!!!!!!

The Steelers did it! They won their 6th Super Bowl. It was the most awesomely stressfully beautiful game ever. :) There was a huge bash at the church... and Joe was so there in spirit. :) I couldn't be happier. And I know that Pittsburgh's going to be on a high for months. It's wonderful to be in a city of happy people. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STEELERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Groundhog's Day!

P.S. Not only are the Steelers totally awesome... but Jennifer Hudson is totally awesome too. God bless her.

Here we go Steelers... Here we go!!!! (clap, clap)

Tonight is the night. Super Bowl Sunday!!!!!!!

It is like Christmas in Pittsburgh, except everything is decked in black and gold. I received this joke in my inbox recently, and I have to share...

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven,God
was showing him around. T hey came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in
the window.
"This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God.
"This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.... On his way up the porch, He noticed another
house just around the corner. It was a 3 story mansion with a black & gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flag pole
with an enormous Steeler flag, and in every window a Terrible Towel.
Peyton looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro
quarterback, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."
God said, "So what's your point Peyton?"
"Well, why does Ben Roethlisberger get a better house than me?"
God chuckled, and said,
"Peyton, that's not Ben's house, it's mine."

I'm sure that a similar joke is floating around for ALL of the football teams. But, I'd still like to imagine that Joe is sitting next to Jesus, in the 3 story mansion up in heaven waving a Terrible Towel. :)

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

I wanted to wish everyone a peaceful, bright, and wonderful Chinese New Year. It's the year of the Ox! Happy celebrating.

Pittsburgh's going to the Superbowl!!!!!!!!!

I am so incredibly excited about the Steelers going to the Super Bowl. I can only imagine the crazy kind of partying that Joe is doing up in heaven right now. It was madness in our house when the Steelers were headed to the Super Bowl last time... our first football season as a married couple. Then we hosted the Superbowl party. Joe and I were so excited after the Steelers won that we flung open the front door and started screaming - much to the shock of our guests. But our faithful neighbors hollered right back. It was beautiful.

I watched tonight's game with my dad - he was my good luck charm (it's his birthday.) I told him that if the Steelers didn't win, I might not ever be able to visit him on his special day ever again. :) I was wearing my lucky lashes (long and gold-tipped). There was a lash malfunction in the last quarter when Troy Polamalu made the beautiful interception. But between Joe, Dad, and the lashes, there was enough magic to ensure our victory!!!!!!

The game was so exciting I received phone calls and texts from both coasts.
Oh, I'm so happy right now. A lot of things are making me happy these days. A lot of changes are happening. If you see me, you can ask and I'll share...

One more game. Being a Steelers fan is so much fun. :)

Merry Christmas

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirnius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them. "Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

~Luke 2:1-20

~~~

I wanted to wish everyone a wonderful and blessed Christmas. One year ago, I remember attending the Christmas eve service with my family. Everything felt so surreal. I could see the joy of the season, but I couldn't feel it. I knew in my heart that I was blessed, but I couldn't feel it. As we sang Christmas carols through the night, tears were streaming down my face. My smile was forced; my greetings were awkward.

This year, I could feel the joy of the season. This year, I could feel that I am blessed. My smile was real; my greetings were genuine. It has been an amazing year. To look back and see how far I have come emotionally and spiritually is really incredible. It feels as though Joe has been my own personal Guardian Angel guiding me towards peace and happiness.

I have been blessed with wonderful people in my life. Thank you for the prayers, the cards, the texts, the emails, the hugs, the smiles, the stories, the shoulders, the ears, the pep talks, the encouragement, the love, the food, the phone calls, the visits, the photos, the craziness, and goofiness, and silliness... what an amazing year it has been. Thank you.

Bye bye, sweet Erica...

"Last night, December 4th, 2008, at 11:35pm, Erica Jean Murray passed away. It was a calm and peaceful moment... she simply took a few deep breaths and fell asleep."

Please continue to pray for her family and friends.

Just pray...

That's all. Just pray...

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving week is here again. Here is my list of things that I am thankful for this year...

I am thankful for my parents for loving me through all of my mood swings.
I am thankful for my brothers for being so fun, and helpful, and understanding.
I am thankful for the coolest cousins ever.
I am thankful for friends who love me for me, even when I'm being less than lovable... or vain and superficial.
I am thankful for Joe, for teaching me the importance of loving more, caring more, and enjoying life more.
I am thankful for my fellow widdas & widders for making me feel sane in times of insanity.
I am thankful that I have the kind of Pastor who will drive to my place just to get rid of a dead bird, because I'm a wimp.
I am thankful that my Pastor is married to the kind of lady who will hunt me down when I run away so that I have a shoulder to cry on... and will celebrate with me when I have happy red shoe days.

Which brings me to the other things I'm thankful for...
... red shoes, of course. And striped socks.
.... my beloved Steelers (Stillers!) - even when they make game watching stressful.
.... this magical creation known as pizza.
.... my Tuesday evening phone calls.
.... couch conversations.
.... soul dancing in the kitchen, hula dancing in the family room, and silly dancing on the train.
.... sushi buffets.
.... stars.
... tea and cookies... or tea and cake... or tea and silliness... or just the friends that share all of that with me.
... being able to share secrets and stories.
... little kid smiles and hugs.
... the kind of snow that looks like glitter falling from the sky.
... coffee ice cream. Or any ice cream with peanut butter!
... Christmas lights.
... secret Chik-fil-A runs.
... the opportunity to sit and breathe after certain little brothers create situations in which you have to unexpectedly run so fast your legs feel like jelly.
... the super cool magnets on my fridge.
... my swings, in my park. :)
... jellybeans.
... blue nailpolish.
... hugs.

I am blessed.

I think a great part of being blessed and feeling blessed is an attitude. Some people seemingly have the world in the palm of their hands, and yet they are miserable. Others seem to have nothing and yet are filled with joy.

I always try to remind myself how blessed I am at the end of each day. This past year when I was experiencing the toughest months of my life I realized just how blessed I am. More times than I could count, people would say, "I envy you." or "You're so lucky." Every time I heard that, I'd be surprised. What made me enviable or lucky was different to each person. All I could think was, "what kind of emptiness do they feel in their life that they could be envious of me?"

But I am blessed. I know it. Sometimes, it feels unfair how blessed I am. I truly hope that anyone who still reads my ramblings feels truly blessed as well. Happy Thanksgiving.

Labels

Since Joe died, I've connected with many widows and widowers virtually and in real life. It's been enlightening to hear each person's story. Our stories are all at once very different and very similar. Through these connections, I've continued to learn so much about myself... about life... about mourning and grieving.

Many times, someone will share something and I can't stop thinking, "Wow. Yes."

Recently, a widower shared something that I found to be so true and valid. He speaks of one specific example, but what he says can be applied to other areas of life as well. So I'm sharing an excerpt... [DW = Dear Wife]

We are the authors of our every next moment.
Are you “writing” yourself a happy today and tomorrow?
Are your labels/thoughts in line with the future that you long for?

I was thinking about the choice we each have in accepting a label that society has placed on us….and the choice we each have in the labels that we “give” to ourselves. I think it is crucial that we take a good look at these labels because I believe they are extremely instrumental in defining our future. For example, in regards to dating, I once had the thought “boy, it’s gonna be hard for me to find someone that can accept the love that I will always have for my DW”. Internally, I more or less gave myself the label of “Damaged Goods”. If I ask myself the question I posed above…”Would I like to have that label (Damaged Goods)?”. The answer would be a big “Heck no”. Does this label allow me to grow? No. Does this label lead to what I want for my future? No, no, and no. That powerful label was debilitating because it limited what I believed I was worth….limited what I believed I had to offer another. Once I realized the disservice I was doing myself, I immediately pitched the lousy label. I chose a more hopeful label/perspective, and instead of focusing on the challenges that the love I have for my DW would pose on a future relationship, I instead chose to focus on the fact that I now have more love to offer another! What a difference this made for me. It allowed me to view my love for my DW as an actual asset…I have more love to give others!…more love to give the world!
Now while I’m not naïve in thinking that my past will never present challenges in future relationships…I think the important point is, that I/we need to focus on our “special gifts” not on our “special needs”. [Thank you, AR]

I think some variation of what was written has been a conversation I've had in my head each day for months and months. Here's to writing a happy today and tomorrow. :)

A Doctor, a Mutation and a Potential Cure for AIDS

The startling case of an AIDS patient who underwent a bone marrow transplant to treat leukemia is stirring new hope that gene-therapy strategies on the far edges of AIDS research might someday cure the disease.

The patient, a 42-year-old American living in Berlin, is still recovering from his leukemia therapy, but he appears to have won his battle with AIDS. Doctors have not been able to detect the virus in his blood for more than 600 days, despite his having ceased all conventional AIDS medication. Normally when a patient stops taking AIDS drugs, the virus stampedes through the body within weeks, or days.
[Dr. Gero Hutter] Sixten Koerper

Dr. Gero Hütter isn't an AIDS specialist, but he 'functionally cured' a patient, who shows no sign of the disease.

"I was very surprised," said the doctor, Gero Hütter.

The breakthrough appears to be that Dr. Hütter, a soft-spoken hematologist who isn't an AIDS specialist, deliberately replaced the patient's bone marrow cells with those from a donor who has a naturally occurring genetic mutation that renders his cells immune to almost all strains of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

The development suggests a potential new therapeutic avenue and comes as the search for a cure has adopted new urgency. Many fear that current AIDS drugs aren't sustainable. Known as antiretrovirals, the medications prevent the virus from replicating but must be taken every day for life and are expensive for poor countries where the disease runs rampant. Last year, AIDS killed two million people; 2.7 million more contracted the virus, so treatment costs will keep ballooning.

While cautioning that the Berlin case could be a fluke, David Baltimore, who won a Nobel prize for his research on tumor viruses, deemed it "a very good sign" and a virtual "proof of principle" for gene-therapy approaches. Dr. Baltimore and his colleague, University of California at Los Angeles researcher Irvin Chen, have developed a gene therapy strategy against HIV that works in a similar way to the Berlin case. Drs. Baltimore and Chen have formed a private company to develop the therapy.

Back in 1996, when "cocktails" of antiretroviral drugs were proved effective, some researchers proposed that all cells harboring HIV might eventually die off, leading to eradication of HIV from the body -- in short, a cure. Those hopes foundered on the discovery that HIV, which integrates itself into a patient's own DNA, hides in so-called "sanctuary cells," where it lies dormant yet remains capable of reigniting an infection.

But that same year, researchers discovered that some gay men astonishingly remained uninfected despite engaging in very risky sex with as many as hundreds of partners. These men had inherited a mutation from both their parents that made them virtually immune to HIV.

The mutation prevents a molecule called CCR5 from appearing on the surface of cells. CCR5 acts as a kind of door for the virus. Since most HIV strains must bind to CCR5 to enter cells, the mutation bars the virus from entering. A new AIDS drug, Selzentry, made by Pfizer Inc., doesn't attack HIV itself but works by blocking CCR5.

About 1% of Europeans, and even more in northern Europe, inherit the CCR5 mutation from both parents. People of African, Asian and South American descent almost never carry it.

Dr. Hütter, 39, remembered this research when his American leukemia patient failed first-line chemotherapy in 2006. He was treating the patient at Berlin's Charité Medical University, the same institution where German physician Robert Koch performed some of his groundbreaking research on infectious diseases in the 19th century. Dr. Hütter scoured research on CCR5 and consulted with his superiors.

Finally, he recommended standard second-line treatment: a bone marrow transplant -- but from a donor who had inherited the CCR5 mutation from both parents. Bone marrow is where immune-system cells are generated, so transplanting mutant bone-marrow cells would render the patient immune to HIV into perpetuity, at least in theory.

There were a total of 80 compatible blood donors living in Germany. Luckily, on the 61st sample he tested, Dr. Hütter's colleague Daniel Nowak found one with the mutation from both parents.

To prepare for the transplant, Dr. Hütter first administered a standard regimen of powerful drugs and radiation to kill the patient's own bone marrow cells and many immune-system cells. This procedure, lethal to many cells that harbor HIV, may have helped the treatment succeed.

The transplant specialists ordered the patient to stop taking his AIDS drugs when they transfused the donor cells, because they feared the powerful drugs might undermine the cells' ability to survive in their new host. They planned to resume the drugs once HIV re-emerged in the blood.

But it never did. Nearly two years later, standard tests haven't detected virus in his blood, or in the brain and rectal tissues where it often hides.

The case was presented to scientists earlier this year at the Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections. In September, the nonprofit Foundation for AIDS Research, or amFAR, convened a small scientific meeting on the case. Most researchers there believed some HIV still lurks in the patient but that it can't ignite a raging infection, most likely because its target cells are invulnerable mutants. The scientists agreed that the patient is "functionally cured."

Caveats are legion. If enough time passes, the extraordinarily protean HIV might evolve to overcome the mutant cells' invulnerability. Blocking CCR5 might have side effects: A study suggests that people with the mutation are more likely to die from West Nile virus. Most worrisome: The transplant treatment itself, given only to late-stage cancer patients, kills up to 30% of patients. While scientists are drawing up research protocols to try this approach on other leukemia and lymphoma patients, they know it will never be widely used to treat AIDS because of the mortality risk.

There is a potentially safer alternative: Re-engineering a patient's own cells through gene therapy. Due to some disastrous failures, gene therapy now "has a bad name," says Dr. Baltimore. In 1999, an 18-year-old patient died in a gene therapy trial. Even one of gene therapy's greatest successes -- curing children of the inherited "bubble boy" disease -- came at the high price of causing some patients to develop leukemia.
[Chart]

Gene therapy also faces daunting technical challenges. For example, the therapeutic genes are carried to cells by re-engineered viruses, and they must be made perfectly safe. Also, most gene therapy currently works by removing cells, genetically modifying them out of the body, then transfusing them back in -- a complicated procedure that would prove too expensive for the developing world. Dr. Baltimore and others are working on therapeutic viruses they could inject into a patient as easily as a flu vaccine. But, he says, "we're a long way from that."

Expecting that gene therapy will eventually play a major role in medicine, several research groups are testing different approaches for AIDS. At City of Hope cancer center in Duarte, Calif., John Rossi and colleagues actually use HIV itself, genetically engineered to be harmless, to deliver to patients' white blood cells three genes: one that inactivates CCR5 and two others that disable HIV. He has already completed the procedure on four patients and may perform it on another.

One big hurdle: doctors can't yet genetically modify all target cells. In theory, HIV would kill off the susceptible ones and, a victim of its own grim success, be left only with the genetically engineered cells that it can't infect. But so far that's just theory. All Dr. Rossi's patients remain on standard AIDS drugs, so it isn't yet known what would happen if they stopped taking them.

In 1989, Dr. Rossi had a case eerily similar to the one in Berlin. A 41-year-old patient with AIDS and lymphoma underwent radiation and drug therapy to ablate his bone marrow and received new cells from a donor. It is not known if those cells had the protective CCR5 mutation, because its relation to HIV hadn't been discovered yet. But after the transplant, HIV disappeared from the patient's blood. The patient died of his cancer 47 days after the procedure. Autopsy tests from eight organs and the tumor revealed no HIV.

Write to Mark Schoofs at mark.schoofs@wsj.com
Corrections & Amplifications

The Foundation for AIDS Research, which uses the acronym amFAR, is the name of the nonprofit group cited in this article. The name of the group was incorrectly given as the American Foundation for AIDS Research.

Looking for a book to read???

Today, I'm sharing Joe's Book List. He wanted to keep track of the books he read following his diagnosis. The list isn't complete... as Joe read a few more books that he didn't get a chance to add to the list. But, I've chosen to present the list as is.

The books that are highlighted are ones that Joe particularly enjoyed.

It's a pretty eclectic list - there should be something for everyone on here.

Fiction

1. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
2. “B” is for Burglar (Sue Grafton)
3. Christ the Lord (Anne Rice)
4. The Solitaire Mystery (Jostein Gaarder)
5. Middlesex (Jeffrey Eugenides)
6. Waiting (Ha Jin)
7. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night (Mark Hadden)
8. The Lake House (James Patterson)
9. Hide and Seek (James Patterson)
10. 1st to Die (James Patterson)
11. The Surgeon (Tess Gerritsen)
12. Harvest (Tess Gerritsen)
13. Body Double (Tess Gerritsen)
14. Chill Factor (Sandra Brown)
15. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
16. The Red Tent (Anna Diamant)
17. Bleachers (John Grisham)
18. Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
19. Case Histories (Kate Atkinson)
20. The Kite Runner (Khalid Husseini)
21. Interpreter of Maladies (Jhumpa Lahiri)
22. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (Jonathan Saffran Foer)
23. The Bonesetter’s Daughter (Amy Tan)
24. My Friend Leonard (James Frey)
25. A Million Little Pieces (James Frey)
26. Their Eyes Were Watching God (Zora Neale Hurston)
27. The Five People You Meet in Heaven (Mitch Albom)
28. The Thanksgiving Visitor (Truman Capote)
29. The Mysteries of Pittsburgh (Michael Chabon)
30. Espresso Tales (Alexander McCAll Smith)
31. The Devil Wears Prada (Lauren Weisburger)
32. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
33. The World According to Garp (John Irving)
34. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
35. Slow Man (J.M. Coetzee)
36. No Country for Old Men (Cormac McCarthy)
37. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress (Sie Dajie)
38. Maybe a Miracle (Bryan Strause)
39. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
40. House of Sand and Fog (Andre Dubus III)
41. The Memory Keeper’s Daughter (Kim Edwards)
42. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (J.K. Rowling)
43. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (J.K. Rowling)
44. A Lesson Before Dying (Earnest J. Gaines)
45. No-No Boy (John Okada)
46. A Thousand Splendid Suns (Khalid Husseini)
47. The Namesake (Jhumpa Lahiri)
48. The Best of O. Henry (O. Henry)




Nonfiction

1. The Great Influenza (John Barry)
2. Kitchen Confidential (Anthony Bourdain)
3. Al on America (Al Sharpton)
4. The God Factor (Cathleen Falsani)
5. The Case for Christ (Lee Stroebel)
6. It’s Not About the Bike (Lance Armstrong)
7. Flags of Our Fathers (James Bradley)
8. Marley and Me (John Grogan)
9. The Tipping Point (Malcolm Gladwell)
10. Stiff (Mary Roach)
11. My Struggle with Faith (Joseph Girzone)
12. Freakonomics (Steven Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner)
13. Fast Food Nation (Eric Schlosser)
14. Guns, Germs, and Steel (Jared Diamond)
15. Collapse (Jared Diamond)
16. The Pursuit of Happyness (Christopher Gardner)
17. Night (Elie Weisel)
18. Bringing Down the House (Ben Mezrich)
19. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
20. Now I Can Die in Peace (Bill Simmons)
21. City of Fallen Angels (John Berendt)
22. Without Pity (Anne Rule)
23. Every Breath You Take (Anne Rule)
24. The World is Flat (Thomas L. Friedman)
25. Running with Scissors (Augusten Burroughs)
26. Magical Thinking (Augusten Burroughs)
27. Possible Side Effects (Augusten Burroughs)
28. A Child Called “It” (David Pelzer)
29. Myths, Lies, and Downright Stupidity (John Stossel)
30. The Year of Magical Thinking (Joan Didion)
31. The Rape of Nanking (Iris Chang)
32. Jesus Land (Julia Scheeres)
33. Dave Barry’s Money Secrets (Dave Barry)
34. Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway (Dave Barry)
35. In a Sunburned Country (Bill Bryson)
36. A Walk in the Woods (Bill Bryson)
37. The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid (Bill Bryson)
38. A Short History of Nearly Everything (Bill Bryson)
39. Three Weeks with My Brother (Nicholas Sparks and Micah Sparks)
40. Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers (Robert Sapolsky)
41. A Hidden Wholeness (Parker Palmer)
42. Spontaneous Healing (Andrew Weil)
43. Complications (Atul Gawande)
44. Naked (David Sedaris)
45. Amazing Grace (Eric Metaxas)
46. Mere Christianity (C.S. Lewis)
47. Me Talk Pretty One Day (David Sedaris)
48. The Art of Happiness (HH the Dalai Lama)
49. Nickel and Dimed (Barbara Ehrenreich)
50. A Peace to End All Peace (David Fromkin)
51. A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier (Ishmael Beah)
52. Blink (Malcolm Gladwell)
53. Hate Mail From Cheerleaders (Rick Reilly)
54. Why Do Men Have Nipples? (Mark Leyner, Billy Goldberg)



Books I’m working on

1. Paradise (Toni Morrison)
2. Snow (Orhan Pamuk)
3. The Art of War (Sun Tzu)
4. Andrew Carnegie (David Nasaw)
5. Dry (Augusten Burroughs)
6. From Paris to the Moon (Adam Gopnik)
7. The Shipping News (Annie Proulx)
8. The Hotel New Hampshire (John Irving)
9. The Wisdom of Crowds (James Surowiecki)
10. Go in Peace: A Gift of Enduring Love (Pope John Paul II)
11. Crossing the Threshold of Hope (Pope John Paul II)
12. The Road (Cormac McCarthy)
13. The Echo Maker (Richard Powers)
14. The Happiness Hypothesis (Jonathan Haidt)
15. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (Lisa See)
16. Stumbling on Happiness (Daniel Gilbert)
17. The Looming Tower (Lawrence Wright)
18. Dispatches From the Edge (Anderson Cooper)
19. The Known World
20. I Thought My Father was God

Pray...

Please pray for Erica and her family. I have no idea how you should pray. I just know that my heart is heavy... and they could sure use a whole lot of prayer right now.