The Cliff note version of the Cliff note version of events.

The latest news is that between the blood cultures, skin biopsies, and Joe's clinical picture, he has a type of fungus called Fusarium. It is so confusing because with skin biopsies, Fusarium and Aspergillus look the same. However with blood cultures, they look different. Fusarium is pretty rare and there is not a lot of data out there as far as treating it. Much of what is available is really depressing. Because of this, a pretty dismal picture was painted for us. We were put in high-time panic mode and there was a lot of confusion, misunderstandings, and miscommunication. The holiday weekend and the non-availability of a lot of doctors did not help matters any. We are still fighting the hardest battle ever (and we've made sure that the doctors are fighting with us too!). We are dealing with so much scary stuff. Each day is an extreme roller coaster. But honestly, I have never known a person as determined and strong-willed as Joe is right now. We also have the most amazing support system ever. Three of Joe's best friends and Joe's New Jersey parents hightailed it to Pittsburgh as soon as Joe spoke with them. Albert is in town and has been an incredible blessing. My brother is home. And duh...our parents are the best ever. Joe's friends and New Jersey parents are back home now, but it was just the greatest thing to see the smile on Joe's face...even through his oxygen mask. (Yup, he's back on oxygen.) Thank you to everyone who has been writing, calling, commenting, praying. We are overwhelmed with all of the support. Ultimately, all of our trust is in God. We believe in miracles, and our faith is unwavering.

I wanted to share a prayer that our friend Jenny Lin wrote. It is beautiful and is truly the prayer of our hearts...(thank you Jenny!)

"Dear God,
Thank you for chasing after Joe, for chasing after his heart, and for claiming Joe as your precious son. Thank you for who you created Joe to be - a gentle soul, a courageous soul, a hopeful soul, and a faithful man of God. Life dealt him a really crappy leukemia card & uprooted all of his plans, but Joe & Karen have responded by holding onto faith, holding onto your promises for a full & abundant life, holding onto YOU Lord!!!! They have always declared that you are the sole author of Joe's life, and that God Is Good, All the Time! How difficult it is to declare your goodness when life is not good!

Lord, we collectively cry out to you on Joe's behalf and ask you to HEAL him of this dreadful disease, clear his bloodstream of this fungal infection, raise up an army of white blood cells, and help his body fight back Lord!!! Pour your protection upon him Lord!!! Pour your life-giving healing into Joe's bloodstream, Lord!!! Give him a fighting chance, Lord!!! Help him declare victory over this infection, Lord. Where medicine is limited, your healing powers are infinite. We fully believe that you have the power to make miracles happen. We fully believe that you have already saved Joe's spiritual life. We declare your sovereignty over Joe and over this disease Lord. Please save Joe's physical life!!! It is by your grace alone that Joe beats this and we're begging you to protect him Lord.

God you know the deepest prayers of our hearts even when we can't articulate them. I pray for comfort for Joe, Karen, the Lins, and the Lans.
Maranatha,
-jennylin"

We received some devastating news this morning. We are still fighting with all of our might, and ignoring any stupid statistics. But we could sure use a whole lot of prayers and a miracle or two. Please join us in storming heaven with prayers.

We've shed an ocean of tears, but we are still full of hope, faith, and strength.
Thanks for all of the love and support that has been coming our way.

Day 30!!

Hey y’all,

I’m back on the blog for another one of Joe’s ramblings. Karen has been doing such an amazing job with the blog. She seems to have a knack for summarizing complicated series of events very perfectly.

Well, I did it! I’ve made it to the first major milestone Day 30 without any serious problems. Of course, the occasion was marked with having to get my 5^th bone marrow biopsy (but who’s counting?!) This will be the first direct objective data on how my body is responding, so let’s all pray for excellent results. It’s weird… internally my body is waging a war and I’m actually rooting for my guys to lose.

So to commemorate the occasion, Karen and I have decided to take a two week trip to Fiji, after which we will re-dedicate our efforts to my healing. We leave tomorrow morning. Of course, this scenario only plays in my head. Fortunately, I’ve got quite a few friends who we shall refer to as Bus, Big Ben, Slash, Chin, and Taz (strangely quiet Polynesian fellow) who come around just to say hey. (Sadly, also in my head) On the up side, I’m told I am permitted to have a few visitors to the house as long as they have no visible sores and have been decontaminated, disinfected, deloused, and preferably autoclaved x2. Apparently, even though my white counts are good, I’m still on so many immunosuppressive drugs that I’ve been told to stay away from public areas for a good many more months. Thank goodness for the internet.

Each day, I am feeling stronger and overall better. It’s seems like I’m constantly trading one set of minor problems for other set, but so far, no major complications. Praise God! I will tell you that I have new found appreciation for cancer patients undergoing treatments and anybody else with chronic illness. It’s a true test of strength, courage, perseverance, patience, restraint, faith, and anything else you can think of. There are so many opportunity costs with waiting in the lobby, waiting for results, waiting to see the doctor. The hospital literally becomes your second home.

Curiously, throughout this whole process, I think that my faith has strengthened. When I was admitted in the hospital in June, I was basically terrified and suffered two truly frightening panic attacks in which I thought I was dying. After the second one, I believe that God spoke to me, not in words, but by lifting a great weight off my shoulders. It’s then that I knew it wasn’t my time to go. And I haven’t looked back since. God has a plan. I’m still not sure what my role is, but I’m figuring it out. I know that He watches over me and my family because He has provided me with an excellent team of doctors and nurses and loads of supporters. Like I said before, I believe that most people are truly good. I think I received over 100 e-cards this last visit at the hospital (a new record) and many were from people I know only peripherally. I even got one from a brief acquaintance of ours from the Netherlands! And that’s not including all the countless other cards and gifts we’ve received. Thank you so much!

These days, I continue to do a lot of reading (when I’m not dozing), watching TV / movies, playing Scrabble with Karen, and basically just trying to make the best of the situation. It’s pretty easy staying positive when you’ve got a wife like mine. She’ll instantly cheer up any room. Like one of my colleagues said, this isn’t just positivity, it’s EXTREME positivity. Well, be on the outlook for postcards from Fiji. We’ll talk to you when we get back.

Joe

Thoughts...

Recently, I've been reading the blogs of others who are battling leukemia. Links to those blogs are in the sidebar. As Joe and I have read through various entries and prayed for others who have been shocked by unexpected news we've had various discussions and have just been amazed. It is all at once sad and beautiful, thought-provoking and eye-opening. I want to feel sorry for these people that I may or may not know...my heart aches as I read words that have come from my own mouth, or that I've heard from Joe. But then...always as weaknesses are revealed, strength is seen shortly after. That is a beautiful thing. Also beautiful is the faith I see that everything is under control. The willingness to accept this life that has been dealt and live it the fullest! And finally, seeing friends and family band together to help the people they love is beautiful.
It has all been very thought-provoking for us though, and very eye-opening. I mean, it is incredible when you realize how many people out there are affected by leukemia or MDS or cancer. And it is positively mind-numbing when you stop to realize how many people are affected by other things that are just as scary. It's just interesting how Joe's diagnosis has caused me to notice things I might have ignored in the past. I don't know. There is so much running through my mind right now, but no way that I can put any of it down in a remotely eloquent manner! It's late, and the drive is in the morning! Maybe tomorrow I can unjumble my thoughts more.

Thank you David for stopping by before studying for your boards! It was so great to see you. Thank you to Cammy for flying down from New York for the drive! And thank you to Louis for picking Cammy up from the airport. It was fun sitting around with the two of you and eating pizza, spaghetti and jello! Thanks for the puzzle too Louis!!!! It was so sweet of you to get it for us...especially since I'm always stealing yours when we visit! Thanks to Ray too for stopping by and bringing the gifts from Hawaii. I'm so impressed that you picked them out yourself. You have great style!

I hope to see a big turn out for the drive tomorrow!!!!!! Big hugs to everyone.