The longest day.

Today was the longest day that we have ever experienced. This whole week has been so very hard. I'm not even sure what to say. Please pray for our families. Each day this week Joe's breathing has steadily declined. He went from nasal cannnula, to oxygen mask, to non-rebreather, to BiPap. Joe was also drowsy each day from pre-medication and pain medicine. However, Joe amazed everyone each day. As sick as he was, Joe would make the effort to sit up a bit each day. When talking to him, it was clear that he was lucid. He brought up fun memories, reminded certain people about certain important dates, and made goofy Joe jokes.

Albert and I have been staying with Joe around the clock. It was great to have some company and support. We had several mini-scares this week, but Joe kept pulling through.

This morning was different. In the wee hours of the morning, while Albert and I were helping Joe we noticed that he was a very different person from yesterday. He just couldn't seem to focus or make eye contact. With the family, we had to make the extremely difficult decision of having Joe moved to the ICU. There he can be monitored around the clock and given the attention and care he needs as he continues to be treated for his infection. The hardest part of all was that Joe had to be intubated. It was just the saddest day. Joe is heavily sedated, so we keep telling ourselves he is just resting. He has been putting up such a hard fight!

We are still holding on to hope though. It is amazing how many lives Joe has touched. He is SO loved. There wasn't a dry eye on on T-7 today. Joe has befriended all the nurses, housekeeping, and dietary staff. You know that is just a tiny fraction of the people who love Joe and are storming heaven with prayers.

I have to leave you with a story and my current source of hope. Last year, I volunteered to help with Vacation Bible School at our church. I was in charge of Bible Adventures. It is a station that the kids rotate through each day. We do interactve skits that share a bit about an event in the Bible. Well, I kept begging my dear sweet husband to help me out at least one of the days. He made some silly excuses, but ultimately agreed to help me one of the nights...because he loves me. Thursday, June 22, 2006 was the day before Joe was diagnosed. I went to the church first; Joe planned to meet me there. Unbeknownst to me, while Joe was getting ready at home, he was suddenly overcome with a feeling of darkness. This is when he decided to get his blood drawn the next day.

At church, Joe did a stellar job of entertaining the kids. Interestingly enough, he played the role of Lazarus. I played the role of Levi. In the skit, we played best friends. I was mourning the death of Lazarus and telling the kids about my buddy. Then suddenly, a knock at the door. It was Lazarus! He emerged with an armful of bandages and shared the story of Jesus raising him from the dead. Oh joy!

One day later, Joe was told he probably had leukemia. Let me tell you. I can not get that day of VBS out of my head. Right now, in my heart, I can't help but believe that maybe that was a sign. Maybe, God was preparing me. Because now, I feel my heart breaking because of what Joe is going through. I just feel so broken. And yet...I know that Jesus loves Joe, just as he loved Lazarus. So I continue to hope and pray for a similar miracle...Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" Praying. Praying. Praying.

The Death of Lazarus
1Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. 2This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair. 3So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick."

4When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." 5Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.

7Then he said to his disciples, "Let us go back to Judea."

8"But Rabbi," they said, "a short while ago the Jews tried to stone you, and yet you are going back there?"

9Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours of daylight? A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world's light. 10It is when he walks by night that he stumbles, for he has no light."

11After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up."

12His disciples replied, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better." 13Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.

14So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, 15and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him."
16Then Thomas (called Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."

Jesus Comforts the Sisters
17On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, 19and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.

21"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."

23Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."

24Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."

25Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

27"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."

28And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. "The Teacher is here," she said, "and is asking for you." 29When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

32When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.

34"Where have you laid him?" he asked.
"Come and see, Lord," they replied.

35Jesus wept.

36Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"

37But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?"

Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead
38Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39"Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."

40Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

41So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."

43When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" 44The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."

~John 11:1-43

The Cliff note version of the Cliff note version of events.

The latest news is that between the blood cultures, skin biopsies, and Joe's clinical picture, he has a type of fungus called Fusarium. It is so confusing because with skin biopsies, Fusarium and Aspergillus look the same. However with blood cultures, they look different. Fusarium is pretty rare and there is not a lot of data out there as far as treating it. Much of what is available is really depressing. Because of this, a pretty dismal picture was painted for us. We were put in high-time panic mode and there was a lot of confusion, misunderstandings, and miscommunication. The holiday weekend and the non-availability of a lot of doctors did not help matters any. We are still fighting the hardest battle ever (and we've made sure that the doctors are fighting with us too!). We are dealing with so much scary stuff. Each day is an extreme roller coaster. But honestly, I have never known a person as determined and strong-willed as Joe is right now. We also have the most amazing support system ever. Three of Joe's best friends and Joe's New Jersey parents hightailed it to Pittsburgh as soon as Joe spoke with them. Albert is in town and has been an incredible blessing. My brother is home. And duh...our parents are the best ever. Joe's friends and New Jersey parents are back home now, but it was just the greatest thing to see the smile on Joe's face...even through his oxygen mask. (Yup, he's back on oxygen.) Thank you to everyone who has been writing, calling, commenting, praying. We are overwhelmed with all of the support. Ultimately, all of our trust is in God. We believe in miracles, and our faith is unwavering.

I wanted to share a prayer that our friend Jenny Lin wrote. It is beautiful and is truly the prayer of our hearts...(thank you Jenny!)

"Dear God,
Thank you for chasing after Joe, for chasing after his heart, and for claiming Joe as your precious son. Thank you for who you created Joe to be - a gentle soul, a courageous soul, a hopeful soul, and a faithful man of God. Life dealt him a really crappy leukemia card & uprooted all of his plans, but Joe & Karen have responded by holding onto faith, holding onto your promises for a full & abundant life, holding onto YOU Lord!!!! They have always declared that you are the sole author of Joe's life, and that God Is Good, All the Time! How difficult it is to declare your goodness when life is not good!

Lord, we collectively cry out to you on Joe's behalf and ask you to HEAL him of this dreadful disease, clear his bloodstream of this fungal infection, raise up an army of white blood cells, and help his body fight back Lord!!! Pour your protection upon him Lord!!! Pour your life-giving healing into Joe's bloodstream, Lord!!! Give him a fighting chance, Lord!!! Help him declare victory over this infection, Lord. Where medicine is limited, your healing powers are infinite. We fully believe that you have the power to make miracles happen. We fully believe that you have already saved Joe's spiritual life. We declare your sovereignty over Joe and over this disease Lord. Please save Joe's physical life!!! It is by your grace alone that Joe beats this and we're begging you to protect him Lord.

God you know the deepest prayers of our hearts even when we can't articulate them. I pray for comfort for Joe, Karen, the Lins, and the Lans.
Maranatha,
-jennylin"