Jim was Joe's first college roommate at Stanford University. Jim was also the mastermind and heart behind Marrow Trek. Along with another friend, Jesse, Jim hiked 3,000 miles and raised $35,820 for Cammy Lee Leukemia Foundation and Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. The truly amazing thing is that in the 116 days that it took to hike the Continental Divide Trail, Jim and Jesse took only 14 showers. Imagine that. I've mentioned it before, but it's worth mentioning again - I will forever be grateful to Jim and Jesse for their heart and insanity.
As I read through the remembrances from Joe's many friends, I realize that Joe was the same to all: unpretentious, genuine, generous and always likeable. That was the person I met when I walked into our dorm room on my very first day of college in 1992.
Joe and I were complete opposites. I was messy, disorganized, and unfocused. Joe was tidy, ordered and disciplined. There was a rough line running down the middle of our room -- my side strewn with clothes, books, and sometimes food; Joe's side clean of clutter. Occasionally (and often) my piles would seep onto Joe's side, and he would convince me that cleaning wasn't a bad thing, and we would start the process all over. Our differences made our friendship stronger: Joe brought some organization to my life, and I brought some impulsiveness to his.
Joe liked to tell stories about the mysterious pair of foreign boxer shorts that migrated around our room for weeks or the resident ant population that I wouldn't let him exterminate. But behind those stories were the times that forged our friendship -- the late nights spent talking about family, girls, school, sports and many other things. Joe was my confidant and personal advisor. He helped me figure a lot of things out, and I have always felt very fortunate that he entered my life.
In July of 2006, Joe called to tell me that he had been diagnosed with MDS. It shook me that something like this could happen to such a gentle soul with such a promising future. I could only tell him how sorry I was. It was the hardest phone call of my life.
This past summer, with Joe's help and support, another good college friend and I organized Marrow Trek - a hike to raise money and awareness for bone marrow donor efforts. I called Joe from the tops of mountains, roads and towns - anywhere along the trail that we had cell reception. His courage and attitude through his challenges remained the inspiration through ours. Hearing his voice was always comforting. I held onto the most hopeful bits of information he passed on regarding his health because I felt that if personal character, faith and the love of family and friends could help anyone get better, Joe would be OK.
At Joe's memorial service, I was overwhelmed by his pictures - his personality radiated from every one. Photographs of him will always bring tears to my eyes, but they also make me smile. Joe remains in my memories as he is in those images - funny, loving, full of life and always smiling. The world doesn't know how much it will miss him.
~~~
p.s. Stanford magazine wrote an article about Joe and Marrow Trek.
3 comments:
in the darkness of despair and pain...it is good to know how others loved joe and will miss him. it is good to know we are not alone in our loss. your grief karen can only be known by you....these remembrances touch us and bring us comfort....and yet grief goes on and on and on. i don't want to let go of my grief...it is part of livi now....and i want to hold onto that too..... take your time, our grief is normal and personal at the same time. you have lost the most intimate friend you have ever had....moving "on", whatever that means we don't know, well, you will do in your time and your way. take your time.....because god keeps not only his promises, but he keeps us as well. that is good to know, even as we don't feel it....we are stumbling through unknown territory to us.....his word says he is there, we felt that before, and will again. i just don't know when, and so we wait.....gigi
Sending you love as always. Joe was truly the best of the best!
Hi Jim,
What you (and Jesse) have done for Joe and others is truly special. Thank you for sharing some of your fun and precious memories with Joe. We are touched and warmed by beautiful and true friendship that you and Joe had. We were also overwhelmed by Joe’s pictures at his memorial service. His personality shined in each of them. Joe’s love and passion for life will always be an inspiration for us. And we want to say thank you.
Sincerely, Yi-Shan & Osamu
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