Boston

This week, I traveled to Boston to visit my brothers. I have wonderful brothers. Despite their busy schedules, we have found time to bond and eat lots of good food. They have been wonderful hosts. When I get back home I will share photos of all of the food I've been eating!

I was also able to meet up with an old friend. We went to a crowded little restaurant called Taiwan Cafe and got seated at a round table with seven other strangers. One of the strangers started befriending everyone at the table and ended up paying for the whole table. I was told that this is not a typical Boston experience.

Several times during the beginning of my stay in Boston my friend told me that there was a girl she really wanted me to meet. As my friend says, she was "gently forcing" us to get together for coffee. I must say that I'm really glad that I was gently forced into meeting this stranger.

Yesterday, I met "my new best friend." Unfortunately, my new friend and I have eerily similar stories. We are both thirty-one year old Asian-American newlywed widows. (not to mention, we're both adorable. haha.) My guess is that we are part of a pretty exclusive club. It is not a club that I would recommend. Yet it was nice for both of us to realize that we're not alone. Our stories are different, and yet somehow parallel. It was amazing to talk to a person who can truly relate to what I'm experiencing. We were able to share our frustrations and fears. We were able to laugh about things that really aren't funny. We were able to discuss all of the "behind the scenes" events that people don't see. We were able to talk about the complexities of the mourning, grieving, healing process. What we are going through is so peculiar. Although we have wonderful people who are supporting us the best way that they know how, an unseen limit exisits. It is nobody's fault. We barely know what we need and how we need to be supported. How is another person to know? We giggled about the people who try to be so helpful by saying, "I know exactly what you are going through, because when my dog died I was devastated." Who are we to judge whether your grief is greater or lesser...but no, you do not know exactly what I'm going through. We giggled about the people who try to be so helpful by saying, "Oh well, you're still so young, you'll be able to bounce back quickly." Oh, how we wish we knew this to be true.

It was a wonderfully therapeutic time for me, and my friend claims it was wonderfully therapeutic for her as well. The situation had potential to be very awkward. I was so nervous the evening before. I told Victor, "how do we start a conversation? Do I say, 'Uhm hi. My name is Karen. My husband died, I hear that yours did too...'" Thankfully, it really wasn't awkward at all (and thankfully, I didn't have to use that line!). As soon as I stepped into the cafe, I was greeted with a hug and then it was like talking to an old friend.

The healing process continues of course. But this week, I can say that I am extremely thankful for brothers, old friends, and new friends. Thank you for being you.