Fabulousness

I took a much needed break from blogging. The act of blogging can be therapeutic. It can be quite a release to be able to express myself in words, throw it out into the world, and feel like I've left a tiny little mark out there somewhere. Blogging can also be stressful. It is scary to open myself up so much. It is like voluntarily taking a slice of myself and placing it under a microscope. I feel so transparent and vulnerable as others are given the opportunity to zero in on all of my flaws. I want to say, "But this is just one tiny sliver of who I am. There is so much more. This really isn't the full picture." I struggle with which slices to reveal, knowing that no matter what, there is always going to be confusion, misunderstandings, misinterpretations. (As I ponder this, I suddenly feel as though I'm back in a classroom learning about Gestalt and chanting, "the whole is more than the summation of its parts.") I realized that if blogging had become a source of stress rather than a source of release, it was time to take a break.

Now I am back.

I had an amazing weekend. I have a wonderful friend that I met my freshman year of college. We first bonded when we discovered that we both get overly excited around the presence of food. Shortly after that, we fabricated a story about being cousins. Even after we confessed that we were not related, people continued to believe that we were actually cousins. Even her mom calls me cousin. I was her maid of honor; she was my matron of honor.

Cousin Van flew in to visit me over the weekend. Her visit was two-fold. She came to support me, and she came so she could escape the hustle and bustle of her life for just a little bit. It was such an amazing weekend for us. We had so much fun bonding, goofing off, and pretending we didn't have a care in the world. It was like being eighteen again, but better because we're grown up now. We laughed until our stomachs and jaws hurt. We cried together. We pampered ourselves and pranced around feeling fabulous. We cooked and ate on fine china. We had tea together. We shared our deepest confessions and then sighed with relief when we only learned that we're more similar than we thought. It is wonderful to have a friend who is gorgeous, but still makes me feel like I am the most beautiful person in the world even if I have a huge pimple on my forehead. It is wonderful to have a friend that I can be super silly with one minute, and then have a deep conversation with the next minute. It is wonderful to have a friend who says, "That's completely normal, I did that last week," when you share your innermost thoughts. It is wonderful to know that this same friend will tell you when you really are being stupid, or when you've hurt her...but then the friendship will only grow stronger. That's the kind of friend I have in Cousin Van. I was able to introduce Van to several members of my church family, and I just felt so proud. Van of course immediately bonded with everyone.

Life has made it impossible for me and Van to talk or spend time together nearly as much as we would like. Often times we'll go months without contact. But each time we talk or meet, we simply pick up where we left off. And each time, Van makes me feel like the most important person in the world. Thank you, dear Cousin for making me feel so fabulous. I think you're fabulous!