Crazy Widow

Last weekend was Easter. This Wednesday would have been Joe and my third anniversary. This has put me in a bit of a funk lately. I've been sad, grouchy, and irritable.

Last week, as I was daydreaming/moping, I decided that I needed to do something crazy to cheer myself up. Since I was thinking about the wedding, it got me thinking about my dress. It was sitting in a box, in my room, in Indiana. It had gone through the whole cleaning/preservation process which meant that it may as well have been encased in armor. Despite this, I couldn't stop thinking about how fun it would be to run around in my dress one more time. Of course, I would need photographic evidence. And I would also be at risk of having people shake their heads, roll their eyes, say, "oh, poor, poor, crazy widow", and conduct emergency prayer meetings in my honor. I wasn't sure if I was brave enough.

I am part of a widow message board. I like to visit it to gauge my sanity. So I shared my idea with the group. They backed me 100%, urging me to do it. The next step was a bit scarier. I contacted some of my "normal" friends to see if they would be willing to humor a crazy widow with a crazy idea. They were extremely supportive and understanding. They even agreed to dress special for the occasion. I decided that they probably just felt sorry for me...which meant that I was probably taking advantage of them...which meant that I'm probably just a little bit evil. Or, I just have really awesome friends.

Victor was home for a few days, so we went back to Indiana. My mom was pretty surprised that I wanted to take my dress with me when it was time to go. In the past, I always said that it was perfectly fine where it was. I didn't tell her that her daughter was insane, but I think she already suspected it.

Yesterday, was the day that the event was to occur. In the morning, I almost chickened out and decided I wasn't going to do it. But the day was so beautiful. And really, haven't I learned that life is short? Gotta celebrate it.

So my awesome friends and I went off to the park and spent the afternoon taking crazy pictures. I had been nervous that I would get overwhelmed and just start crying. That would have been fine, but it didn't happen. Instead I was positively drunk with happiness. My friends made the afternoon so much fun. Cars would honk at us, and we would just laugh. They must have thought we were the oddest looking wedding party ever! I just know that Joe was there with us, laughing, and getting a kick out of his crazy gal and friends. That alone is enough to make me smile.

Thank you Crystal, Eric, Patrick, Ray, and Vivian so very much for humoring me and blessing me with an awesome memory. Thank you Sha and Louis too, because I know you were there with us in spirit. I love all of you so much, and I know that Joe did too.